Of names and purpose

I feel the need to say a few words about what exactly the screaming godhead is and what type of content can be expected. During the time since my liberation from the ranks of the cowardly and mundane, those who through fear or some form of atrophy have refused to approach the relevant questions in any real fashion, I have rounded up a meager collection of ideas concerning the bigger picture: life, consciousness, evolution, progress, and always arbituity. Two necessary concepts that precede any solid understanding of the aforementioned ideas are, first to understand how much there is to understand, and then to understand that that degree of comprehension is utterly impossible. During one experience in particular I attained what I would hope was a thorough grasp of these two concepts, and my thoughts turned momentarily to god, any god, a godhead to be general -- Some entity that understands everything simultaneously. It occurred to me then exactly how unpleasant a state of being this would be. The perception of an omnipotent god, I think, has always been one of effortless omnipotence; knowing all, suffering no limitations, affecting every facet of reality on a whim. I now find this quite ridiculous (I have found this quite ridiculous for some time for very different reasons). If some entity were to understand all that there is to understand all at once, I should think it would have a hard time doing much of anything else. It would not be gifted with such understanding, but utterly tormented by it. It would be drowning in the shear magnitude and complexity, layers upon layers, circles within circles. Every bit of the tangible information in the known universe would be inconsequential when compared to every nuance of every idea, concept, higher analysis, viewpoint, state of mind, and philosophy never approached by the deepest thoughts of man. This entity would exist on the brink of eruption, every moment epiphany. The paramount struggle to maintain the concept of self awash in so much raw consciousness would pervade its every eternal second. The only vain outlet to the mounting pressure of containing such infinite comprehension within a definable personality, reconciled under some subjectivity, would be a scream whose terrible sincerity could only be overshadowed by its eternal, unbreaking necessity. This would not be a pain that surges and abates in unbearable waves, but an agony unfaltering for all of eternity.

The godhead is screaming. I do not believe this to be literal truth (I am quite sure that no godhead exists), but it remains, for me, a valuable conclusion. In the most literal sense, the screaming godhead symbolizes a class of revelations. Under this class are those epiphanies whose profoundness surpasses excitement and pride and enters into a realm of nausea, disorientation, anxiety, and often hints of depression. These often concern the arbitrary nature of everything, the loss of purpose inherent in looking at such a big picture that individual actions, no matter how epic, recede into negligibility. I will use this site as a medium for such abstractions, though to anyone but myself, they will border insanity at best and become downright incriminating at worst.

The screaming godhead also has a slightly tamer interoperation. It serves to symbolize a relationship between those who actively seek knowledge, benefit from its power, and suffer its curses. Facts and ideas are not idly learned so long as the person learning them is rightfully considered as an affiliation of pervading themes, influenced by every datum he/she receives. It is often impossible to unlearn things. This is the burden of the student, to reconcile new facts with old, to eradicate contradictions, and to actively redefine the self. The screaming godhead suffers exactly these burdens. People, however, need not tackle these duties alone. In this way, the screaming godhead defines another class of ideas: those that benefit from sharing with others willing to receive them, and those that seem impossible to communicate to those who need them most. In other words, if you understand why my godhead screams, than you should be worthwhile company. Establishing a network with such individuals is another reason for this page.

There is one more, however not so much an interpretation as a misinterpretation. There are many people who will take this title to refer to the Orthodox Godhead, that is, the Holy Trinity. These are people who not only cannot understand why my godhead screams, but are seemingly incapable as seeing the godhead as a metaphor in any sense. As I consider their godhead, he is watching his chosen pets pointlessly groveling their blessed lives away, stopping periodically only to exterminate each other under the guise of divine agendas. I believe he has plenty to scream about. I will frequently use this page to vent in a very similar manner.

Almost any post I make will inevitably fall into one of these three categories: those abstractions posted purely out of need for solidity, those ideas I feel would be useful to share, and those that relay my amazement at the general ignorance.