Monday, October 01, 2007

The Elephants of Frankfurt

AUGUST 11, 2007

2:00 am Eastern, 8:00 am here
Just landed in the Nether-regions, about to make a dash for our connection…

12:30 am Germany
Shits a bit fucked up at the moment. My baggage (Gepäck) didn’t make the transfer in Amsterdam. I’m waiting for the next flight to arrive at 3:00 pm, which may or may not contain my bags. I’m shit tired. I didn’t print directions to my hostel.



Germany has Particularly seductive food ads



Yeah girl, drink that juice


Pork chop sandwiches!

4:30 pm
Waited in the airport until the next plane from Amsterdam arrived. 5 hours, no luggage. On the subway I asked a women how to get to the stop where the hostel is: “Oh, you don’t want to stop there, that’s the read light district.” Fucking great.

The biggest strip club I’ve ever seen in my life is downstairs, but it looks like a nice enough neighborhood. I’m off to check out the room, find some food, and get a goddamn phone card. I have to keep checking in with the airport until my luggage arrives. I have zero clothes in my backpack; packed completely for airplane entertainment. Shit is getting interesting, having to deal with all this. I really am a small and helpless child here.






There will be no doing anything of any sort in this zone. What do you think this is, America?






9:00 pm
Brat and a beer a few doors down. Just saw a guy get beat down in the street for wearing the wrong soccer jersey. Difficult to explain this place really, but its rowdy if nothing else. There were also a few bachelorette parties that came down the street while I was eating. Apparently the way they do it here is about ten girls get together, put on costumes (tight black with devil horns for example), get shitfaced, and then walk up and down the street flirting with strangers and collecting money by selling miniature shots an contraceptives of various sorts. There were three wasted marines on leave sitting next to me who must have given them a months salary each.


Aussies


There's a drum down there somewhere

9:00 am
To add to my disorientation and complete inability to operate here, I am nursing a wild hangover. Last night actually followed my stupid assumption that I would simply happen upon friends and storm the town. Although there was altogether very little storming the town: Back and forth to a liquor store and club across the street. Drinking in stairwells, guitars and drums, goodness. I bought a couple of 7.5% cans with an elephant on them, which is mildly ironic because I believe they caused me to forget large segments of the night. Some drink along the way claimed my ability to properly subtract 6 hrs from the time displayed on my phone (in fact, I should have been adding 6 hrs), which sent me rushing to check out at a pace set delicately between losing 20 euros and vomiting on the carpet. It turns out I was actually 2 hrs early and in time for breakfast. I might even have time for a shower if I have appropriate supplies in the care package the airport gave me.
Agenda: shower, checkout, call airport, get to Berlin, find bed.

Uhhh...